World Cup: Match 8 - Germany vs. Australia

Charlie Davies, a loss for the US. Rio Ferdinand, a loss for England. Nani, a loss for Portugal. Didier Drogba, would have certified an early exit for Cote d'Ivoire. And Arjen Robben's foolish hamstring tear, a temporary loss for all lovers of the beautiful game. The long and esteemed list of injuries preceding this world cup has been astonishing. But there's one that was really a blessing in disguise: Michael Ballack's ankle injury has transformed a reliable German Volkswagen into the ultimate driving machine. Just ask Australia, upon whom Germany's descent was both fast and furious. The awesome series of passes leading to Podolski's unstoppable rip in the 8th minute would have done the Klinsmann-Voller combo (that won the 1990 World Cup) proud. Miroslav Klose's unbelievable flying header in the 26th that saw him soar like Superman between the last defender and the keeper is his 11th World Cup goal. He had 5 in 2002 and 5 more in 2006, when he won the Golden Boot (for top goal-scorer of the tournament). Seven of his eleven goals have come on headers, which is a little surprising considering he is only 5'11"--not exactly short but a good head beneath his teammates on the pregame starting lineup camera pan. (You'd never guess that Steven Nash is actually 6'3" if you watched him on a basketball court.) At this rate, don't be surprised if Klose challenges Ronaldo's 15-goal record for all time World Cup scorer. We are all rooting for him.

In the second half, Australia demonstrated that even with 8 players behind the ball (a trick they must have learned from watching Uruguay fend off France or the United States retreat against England), they were helpless against the German onslaught that produced two more BEAUTIFUL goals before hanging up their boots. Thomas Muller's cut back and slicing shot between the defender's legs was savory and at least to my eyes lingered triumphantly against the inside of the post before squirting into the back of the net (67'). And Caucau put the icing on the cake just 1 minute and 52 seconds after subbing in for Klose (70'). For those of you who were wondering, Caucau's name and dark skin are no coincidence. He was born Claudemir Jeronimo Barretto, but as is customary for Brazilians, he got himself a cool nickname.

Australia's knight in shining armor, Tim Cahill, had no response, as he was watching the game from the locker room after being sent off in the 56th minute for a slide tackle from behind. To be fair, the red was very harsh as he visibly pulled his legs out of the tackle and only knocked Bastian Schweinsteiger with his knees. If he were allowed to appeal the card, I'm sure he'd be there for the next game, but red cards cannot be appealed in the World Cup and Australia will be stranded without him in their next match up against Ghana.

I might have expected more from Australia a few months ago but after watching their 2-1 loss to New Zealand in stoppage time and their pitiful performance in a 3-1 loss to the US, I will not be surprised to see Australia finish 32 of 32. We'll find out in the coming weekend whether Germany are really as good as they look or whether a piss-poor Australian squad has made them look like titans only by comparison. And let's not forget that Germany always starts their World Cups with a flurry of goals (4-2 in the opener vs. Costa Rica in 2006 and 8-0!!! against Saudi Arabia in 2002, which is one goal shy of the record).

Only caught one FUNNY COMMENTARY for this game
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After the 4th goal: "This game is over as a contest but not yet over as an exhibition."