World Cup: Match 28 - Italy vs. New Zealand

Fuck you, FIFA. You make a ridiculous call to keep the US from winning against Slovenia. And then you turn around and make a ridiculous call to ensure that Italy doesn't lose against New Zealand. Honestly, how could you possibly reward the most notorious floppers in the game with a penalty kick in the box just because the player went down? Haven't you ever seen an Italian soccer practice? It's so obvious that you just want to make money! Italy (population 60 million, 23rd) is just a much better investment than New Zealand (population 4.3 million, 123rd), huh?

And why are you the only governing body that changes the ball for every consecutive tournament!? How about a little consistency! I thought players were just making excuses but then I saw the Jabulani in person. There are so many things wrong with that ball, I don't know where to start...
1. Its surface is made of a synthetic material that splits its properties between plastic and rubber.
2. When you press down on the ball, its spherical shape is not distorted. Rather, only the surface depresses, as if it were a Nerf ball.
3. The dimples are gone and have been replaced by traction strips. I'm not kidding--the surface of the ball is coated with tiny ridges that are supposed to prevent it from sliding on wet grass. But players unfortunate enough to have invested in cleats that help grip the ball will now have trouble unsticking it from their feet.
4. Yes, it is very light.
5. Secretly, Adidas' 5 years of research ended in failure, and scrambling to find a unique concept on short notice, they bought a bunch of Nerf balls and coated them with thermoplastics.

Way to go, Adidas. You made a ball that was supposed to move around in the air and make it difficult for keepers. But hasn't this World Cup seen a 60% reduction in goals? Ironically, it's the shooters who are suffering. Why are you injecting luck into a sport that is supposed to be a contest of skill, athleticism, and desire? Adding luck to games makes them worse not better! It just reminds me of a really old commercial from 1994 that paints a very scary picture of what soccer might look like in the distant future. The goal post is arched instead of rectangular, it expands and contracts randomly, and the half field circle is a trampoline from which players can launch in order to shoot bicycle kicks down at the goal. As a 7 year old, I was terribly afraid it might come true. And now, after seeing how hard FIFA+Adidas are trying to ruin soccer with unnecessary technology, I think the center-field trampoline just might be possible...
Why can't you just take the same ball and paint it different colors? People will still buy it. Or will nothing slake your avarice?

Back to the game, commentators called it the greatest result in New Zealand soccer history. Just imagine how much greater it would have been if FIFA referees hadn't been involved...

I'd make fun of Italy if I didn't know they usually look terrible in the group stage. For example, Italy were the last team to qualify for the elimination round in 1994 but went all the way to the final and lost on penalties. A lot of teams have trouble performing until their lives are on the line (especially in this World Cup), but I think Italy struggles to make things dramatic. What more could you expect from the greatest thespians on the world stage?