World Cup: Match 16 - Spain vs. Switzerland

Spain! Spain, what are you doing! Hahahaha!

This occasion calls for a haiku:

The tall Swiss defense,
Unlike their cheese, has no holes.
Muahahahaha!

There is no one to blame for this loss than Spain. They wasted the entire first half passing the ball around, thinking they were Barcelona. They may have the Barcelona center of midfield and 3 Barcelona defenders, but they don't have Leo Messi!!! Without the brilliant, bursting runs of Messi who starts freezing defenders as soon as you play him, who is pretty much unstoppable once he's on the run, the super-possession strategy is worthless. The only thing Spain's possession threatened during the first half was the % possession statistic!

Switzerland has one of the best defenses in the world. They exited the last world cup without conceding a single goal in regular and extra time. And they played it so intelligently, using numbers to clog up the middle and defending against crosses from the flanks using their superior height. Bravo!

Switzerland scored a great and pretty hilarious goal. It was like a multiple car collision. Gelson Fernandes' pass gets clipped by Puyol, hits oncoming Eren Derdiyok (great name, by the way) in the knee and shoots out in front of him. He tries to cut it past Iker Casillas, who clips the ball and Derdiyok. Both go flying. Derdiyok spins upside down in midair, cuts Pique with his cleats, the ball somehow lands between his legs and gets spun out to oncoming Fernandes, who shoots it into Pique as he collapses to the ground. The ball rolls around him and stops on the goal line, but it's too close for him to reach with his feet. Then it's a race to the ball between Fernandes and Casillas, which the Swiss midfielder wins just barely. But damn was it a great goal to liven up this heretofore slow World Cup!

Spain finally started playing direct soccer and got much better chances, including one that rattled the crossbar, but in pressing forward so hard, they almost found themselves down 2-0 when Derdiyok beat Pique, Puyol, and Casillas on a "derdy" dribble, only to be stopped by the post.

And guess what the first thing out Alexi Lalas' grinning mouth is: "Even a blind squirrel finds a nut every once in a while."

FUCK YOU ALEXI LALAS. A blind squirrel finds a nut every once in a while? ARe you joking? Switzerland played magnificently. They totally deserved this 100%. If anyone found a fucking nut, it's the US.