Stanford History XXX Initiative

The Stanford History department has recently launched a new campaign to provide students with better information about their living spaces in an effort to dampen campus-wide discontent with Student Housing, which is at an all time high. In a press conference last week, Paula Findlen, Department Chair, told the media, "We're calling it the Stanford HistoryX (XX) project. And as soon as you hear the details, I'm sure you'll agree our nomenclature is more than fitting." Using the history department's pithy human resources, as well as our precious tuition funds, the history department is building a database that tracks all previous fornications that happened in your bed prior to your arrival. "Students will soon be able to find out how many and which people have fornicated in their beds and are encouraged to report their own fornicatory experiences--including self-fornication--to the HistoryX (XX) Project," said Paula. The History department promises to expand the project to include frequency and duration statistics as soon as they can get more than ten students per year to enroll in their major.