Never Drive On The Same Road For Too Long. It Might Take You To Rome.

I implore you never to go to Rome. None of the awesome monuments are really worth seeing. It's all a lie. For instance, every photograph you see of the Colosseum is a computer generated picture of what it may have looked like two thousand years ago. The majestic white marble taht you image was lost long ago, revealing a red brick skeleton. Believe me, red brick does not make for an impressive ruin.

I think I have arrived in Napoli. I can't find any signs. After wandering around the train station, I finally deduce that I must be in Napoli, because none of the departing trains are going to Napoli. At least there is a sign for a Bancomat. Actually, there are several signs, not only pointing the way but also indicating the distance. Better than Rome by a mile. Or by however far it is from Rome.

I formulate a new law. The shittiness of a place is inversely proportional to the square of its distance from Rome. It follows, then, that Rome is infinitely shitty.