Japan's uniforms were loosely based on the spider-man costume, while Paraguay's fashioned after the original Super Mario. As such, I was expecting an epic showdown; unfortunately...
This contest was as effectual as a battle between knights in plate mail trying to beat each other to death with sticks. Neither team could summon up the quality finishing they showed in the group stage, but there was some very nice soccer, occasionally. It made me realize that it would be nice if replays occasionally showed some soccer, in addition to shots and fouls. But I think I'll have to wait a LONG time before ESPN caters to a more sophisticated audience. As far as I can tell, most Americans still think soccer is boring and the ones that cross-over from "real football" are only intelligent enough to understand big kick, boom goal.
In the 60th minute, my friend asked me if I had any predictions for the game. I told him, "Japan in penalty kicks." He rolled his eyes and left, though I wasn't too disappointed to watch the first penalty shoot out of the tournament.
I got a little worried there might be a goal after Japan tried some intrasquad fellatio to raise morale in the 67th minute, but they failed to conceive, even with an hour of play remaining.
When the game did finally go to penalty kicks, I saw the Japanese coach's face and realized my prediction was half-wrong. I had based it on Endo and Honda, two excellent strikers of the ball, but neglected to realize this was an Asian team going up against a South American team in penalty kicks. I don't even have faith in a European team going up against South America in penalties...!
Japan held strong for a while, their keeper guessing correctly a couple of times, but the Chilean shots were always too strong and too far to the corners. With tons of pressure, Komano--the third Japanese penalty taker--blasted his shot into the crossbar, along with his team's chances for advancement. Valdez stepped up and finished brazenly down the center of the goal to solidify the penalty shootout equivalent of "break point." Keisuke Honda stepped up professionally, waited for the keeper to dive, and shot the other way to give Japan one last chance. Cardozo, feeling threatened by Honda's showmanship, pulled the same number on the Japanese keeper who was a good three yards off his line by the time the ball left the penalty spot. That made it 5-3 and Japan's last kick unnecessary.
Rule #2 held up. South American teams can only be eliminated by other South American teams.
Funny Commentary:
Talking about the Chilean coach pacing up and down the sideline anxiously.
"The loneliness of the long distance coach. I think he's walked a marathon on the side."
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